TIME FOR THE SCRAWNY WHITE MALE SEX SYMBOL

Step aside, “Heroin chic” and “Plus size” supermodels, conventional standards of male attractiveness is about to be turned upside down. Get ready for this mind-blowing revelation: what’s considered “hot” is constantly evolving. Can you handle it?

Behold, the skinny white boy is having his moment. And guess what? There’s no turning back. It’s like trying to stop a runaway train or resisting the urge to buy those ridiculously tiny sunglasses that make your face resemble a caricature. Oh, and let’s not forget those wispy fringes that magically transform your hair into a wispy disappointment.

The signs are everywhere. The reign of the hulking, beefy men as the epitome of hotness is crumbling like a poorly constructed sandcastle. In their place, we have a new set of heartthrobs: Timothee Chalamet, Justin Bieber, Pete Davidson, Tom Holland, and Machine Gun Kelly.

Just picture it: tattoos adorning their slender frames, and a penchant for drowning themselves in baggy clothes. That’s right, we’ve traded brawn for a svelte physique and an affinity for looking like they’ve been swallowed by their own wardrobe.

The skinny white boy revolution is upon us. Embrace the madness, and remember to stock up on oversized sweaters and skinny jeans (yes they are back). It’s time to jump on this bizarre bandwagon and ride it all the way to fashion oblivion.

We love discussing female beauty standards, don’t we? Are big bums in or out? Should we obsess over curves or strive to count our hip bones? It’s a never-ending game where women constantly find themselves at a disadvantage.

But let’s not forget, my friends, that men are also subject to the same absurdity. Remember the tall, super fit, and muscular guy? He was all the rage for years. Well, guess what? He’s yesterday’s news.

Now, it’s all about the guy who looks like he spends more time vaping than breathing. Say goodbye to the gym freaks and hello to the skinny, scruffy boys who seem like they haven’t had a decent meal in weeks.

 Chris Hemsworth, Chris Pine, and even Chris Pratt—remember them? They were the epitome of beefy, lean muscle. But alas, their time in the spotlight has come to an end.

It’s the era of the skinny, ratty boy, my friends. They’re the ones snagging the hottest women on the planet, and it’s a spectacle to behold. So, gentlemen, it’s time to embrace your inner vape enthusiast and bid farewell to your protein shakes and dumbbells. Welcome to the age of the “I-look-like-I-need-a-sandwich” aesthetic.

The signs of change first appeared in 2018, when the skinny, tattooed Pete Davidson somehow managed to land the famous pop sensation, Ariana Grande. It was quite the surprise, considering he was just the goofy guy from Saturday Night Live, far from the epitome of classic good looks.

But hey, it could have been a fluke, right? Like when Courteney Cox tied the knot with the funnyman David Arquette. These things happen.

Yet, lo and behold, Pete Davidson’s bachelor status skyrocketed even after Grande bid him farewell. He went on to date practically every “it” girl in town, as if he had some secret power to charm them all.

And then, the climax of it all: he started dating the ultimate sex symbol, the reality TV star and Kanye West’s ex-wife, Kim Kardashian, in 2021. That was the moment when I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that times had officially changed. We had entered an era where scrawniness and lack of beefiness were the new standards of hotness.

Love them or hate them, you can’t deny the influence of the Kardashians. They have the power to shape culture. They made curves cool, and now they’ve set the stage for the reign of the skinny, ratty boys.

So, my friends, let us bid farewell to the days of bulging muscles and embrace this brave new world of bony charm. It’s a wild ride, but hey, at least it’s a change of pace.

Here’s to the scrawny and the far less beefy era of hot men!