Through a collection of images and powerful captions, photographer Daria Klimasheva captures the suffering and the depression that dawned on her mother after her divorce.
The powerful images capture the anguish Daria was feeling, observing her mother. During this strange and unfamiliar time in childhood, she turned to photography, as a means of self-expression.
“I was watching you cross highways without looking sideways and cars stopping at your feet. I followed you. I was afraid to lose you.”
“I remember the day when you called me early in the morning saying that you wanted to divorce my dad.”
Daria studied at the Danish school of Media and journalism. With a background in photography, Daria was able to convey her emotions through black and white photographs, accompanied by short, sentimental captions. Daria chose English to express her feelings, throughout this collection, because speaking in Russian on this subject causes Daria pain.
She writes in Lens Culture, “I was raised in the family which taught me to smile when it’s hard, to hide your problems, to pretend that you’re ok when you are not. But you cannot go any further when you are full of pain and fear. Eventually you realize that the only way out is by putting some of the memories on the shelf.”
The photographer was raised in a family that suppressed honest emotion. Daria found photography as a medium to explore the rawness of what she was feeling. Mothers are stereotyped as self-confident and invincible, which makes it hard for a young girl to look at a mother’s smile, knowing that it is only the illusion for concealed pain. Daria was fifteen years old when she noticed her mother carrying herself differently to how she used too. In an interview with The Washington Post, Klimasheva says “I was trying to become a mom for my mom and it felt wrong”.
Photography gave Daria an avenue to observe and comprehend the sadness that defeated the mother she once knew. This was not only a form of self-expression, but also a visual representation of her emotional journey, through a particular point in time. The collection explores the profound mother-daughter love, shared between the two. Klimasheva completes the collection with the words, “I just want you to know that every dream I pursue is to light a desire for life in you”.
“I could sit in the bathroom for hours. It was my way to escape.”“Back then I used to be weak and small compared to you. You always were strong. I only saw you crying several times in all these years.”“I felt panicked seeing your weakness.”
“One day you changed the rules and I had to adopt them. No explanation, no talk, nothing to help me understand what was going on.”“I could not go away, could not stay. Sometimes I hated you for making me feel like that.”“I was watching you cross highways without looking sideways and cars stopping at your feet. I followed you. I was afraid to lose you.”“I was going crazy imitating your poses and breathing with the same speed just to catch a glimpse of what you were feeling.”“I grew up. I don`t try to save you anymore. I learned to trust in you and accept you– the whole of you- because I can’t live your life and I can’t give you mine.”
“I just want you to know that every dream I pursue is to light a desire for life in you.”