Drake Loves Bad B*tches And That’s His F*cking Problem – Coachella Recap

Remember that time back in 2003 at the MTV Music Awards when Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera had that controversial kiss with… Who was it? Oh yeah, Madonna! Now apparently everything Madonna kisses makes the internet go total recall and break… so take note, Kimmy K. 

Britney Spears, Madonna, and Christina Aguilera
MTV Music Awarrds, 2003. ‘The Bitney and Madonna kiss’. Picture from crewcalldirectory.com

Madonna kissed Drake and it was better than any fairytale that had ever been written or imagined… Okay, that’s a lie, but it possessed a next level magical aura. Drake’s reaction has everyone in a flurry – why? Dat recoil and facial expression combo.

Madonna was giving Drake a lap dance at Coachella when Madge decided to make out with him and shout “Bitch, I’m Madonna” – something that was similarly written on her top “Big as Madonna” (probably taking care of her blind fans, aw Madge, you are the most humble, really).

Madonna and Crake at Coachella. Picture source from Coachella

Drake obviously wasn’t aware of Madge’s plans so on top of being surprised, his look of utter disgust pleased the masses and even rewrote what the meaning of a kiss should be. Just kidding, please kids, do not try this at home. Surprise kissing is weird for everyone involved.

Undoubtedly there should have probably been a warning sign before this whole ordeal took place. And as if the shock of Madge kissing a 28-year-old was enough (she’s 56), on the 13th of April Madges cone bra turned 25. Yes, Drake was three years old when Madonna was shocking the world with her pointy tits. 

Although it looked like Champagne Pappy Don’t Preach, TMZ reported that Drake in fact “loved the kiss” and said that the taste of her lipstick was what repulsed him. What was Madonna wearing on her lips? Ten week old eggs to give her that ageless glow? Obviously Drake didn’t want to hurt Madonna’s feelings because he’s sensitive. Oh Dreezy… hurt feelings, eh? Especially when rapping about bad b*tches.

But hey, that’s his f*cking problem.

Screen Shot 2015-04-14 at 11.48.20 am
Justin Bieber at Coachella, 2015. Picture source from consequenceofsound.net

In other Drake related news, during Drake’s set, Justin Bieber got hit in the head with a water bottle. Timeless JB needs to get a new routine and this needs to stop. Leave JB alone! Getting hit by anything at a concert is sucky and we hope the little munchkin recovers swiftly.

It was also reported that he wasn’t allowed to go behind-the-scenes of Dreezy’s set and security guards were pissed about it, with the whole fiasco ending in a choke-hold by Drake’s beefers. The young pop sensation is reportedly taking action against the security guards for… doing their job. May the judge that convicts the oversized Mafia go easy.

The speculation into the kiss shows bad gal RiRi’s reaction, and even if it wasn’t her alleged reaction, it is the picture to sum up how we all feel towards the ordeal.

Screen Shot 2015-04-14 at 11.45.01 am
Rihanna at Coachella. Source unknown.

Drake posted on Instagram yesterday a picture of him holding Madonna’s head as she kisses him with the caption “moments to write home about” with all the fun filled emojis to go along with it — most notably the emoji that Drake uses so much, he found some kind of divine reason to get it tattooed on him.

Drake will perform again at Coachella on Sunday April 19 and has announced that he will be touring America and Canada until the 3rd of July. Meanwhile, Justin Bieber is writing new music and Madonna is still, well, Madonna. As for Britney Spears, she’s busy writing a new song with Iggy Azaelea and Christina Aguilera is busy on American The Voice.

Rihanna is still in shock. Lets hope she isn’t too Hung Up on the Madonna and Drake shenanigans. Bless.

A soon to be released publication of Madonna in Fashion Industry Broadcast Masters of Music Vol 23 and Justin Bieber in Masters of Music Vol 20 will be sold on Amazon.