Get ready to don your tinfoil helmets and Lannister red(dit) conspiracy capes because this week we’re diving deep into the world of collisions, machinations and schemes! Watch out Littlefinger, we’re coming for you.
Needless to say, spoilers lay this way. Head back to your dragon glass cave if you’re not up-to-date.
3. Little does the finger know…
If you cast your mind back to last week’s episode, you will recall that ‘master lingerer’ Littlefinger tried to lay some truth nuggets on Sansa:
“Everything that happens will be something that you’ve seen before”
This little tete-a-tete happening rather conveniently, just as The Three Eyed Raven (the person formerly known as Bran) swooped back into Winterfell. This seemed a little too convenient for our hypersensitive conspiracist ears, and we immediately took to suspecting that Littlefinger had the 411 on Bran’s new gig. How? Mate, he’s Petyr Baelish: he has a little-finger in every pie in Westeros. It wouldn’t surprise us if he was running brothels out of every wildling coop in the North! He’s a very lucrative man.
Anyhow, when Littlefinger bequeathed the dagger-that-started-it-all to Bran, obviously he was hinging on some ulterior motive. Was he attempting to get the 3ER on his seedy side? Was he hoping to gain exclusive CCTV access to every nook and cranny in Westeros?
This conspiracy kinda came crashing down though when Bran dropped a Three Eyed Raven/ Philosophy grad-esque bomb on Baelish:
“Chaos is a ladder.”
*Cue simultaneous explosions and flashbacks to Season Three when Baelish uttered the same line, verbatim, to Varys*
Littlefinger’s face went from coy to ‘oh shit’ in less than a Jon Snow heartbeat – which is to say, no time at all. So, maybe Baelish wasn’t in on Bran’s new visions, or perhaps he didn’t realise the full extent of Bran’s time-travelling scope? Either way, this is huge news. What do you get when you take a Baelish bewildered by a failed power move and add an enigmatic time-travelling and all-seeing teenage boy?
An assassin Stark daughter with a Chekhov’s gun.
2. Chekhov’s Dagger
Look, it’s been theorised as far as from Flea Bottom to the Wall that Arya is going to invoke vengeance on Littlefinger. We’re hoping against all odds that it’s not as a simple as Bran imparting some 3ER wisdom on Arya and she stabs him with the Valyrian steel dagger. Sure, it’s poetic but we’re begging Benioff and Weiss to be a bit more unpredictable.
As for the dagger (ahem, Chekhov’s gun)… the showrunners wouldn’t have placed so much emphasis on its return to have it merely fade into Arya’s growing arsenal. Littlefinger has witnessed the dagger pass from Bran to a mini ninja; dude’s gotta be scared. The way Arya shaded him as she sheathed that majestic weapon absolutely reeked of foreshadowing. We’re calling it now: Littlefinger’s on her list.
But what about after Littlefinger becomes pie filling? Upon seeing the dagger, Arya immediately noted that it is made from Valyrian steel. Will she go Sam Tarly and kill a White Walker with that baby? Will Littlefinger die and come back as the Night King’s lecherous accountant? We can see the spin-off now…
Valyrian steel is all the rage right now: not only is Arya wielding some serious weaponry but she’s got the goods to help Jon overthrow that dastardly Night King and his cronies.
1. A cave full of Targaryen tinfoil
This next conspiracy requires a whole roll (or two) of foil, so bear with us. We’re not even sure how to approach this one because it sounds as far-fetched as Jon trying to explain the Night King, but on the same Bravosi token, so insane that it might be believable?
Cast your minds back to the third episode of Season Three, when Jon returns to the Fist of the First Men with Mance Rayder and the Free Folk Army to find an elaborate and super symbolic arrangement of severed horse bodies. This symbol reared its head again in yesterday’s episode… conveniently carved into a wall inside the dragon glass mine at Dragonstone.
In the dragon glass mine. At Dragonstone.
We also witnessed this symbol last season in Bran’s vision of the Children of the Forest creating a White Walker: the stones surrounding the weirwood tree were arranged in the same symbol. So it seems pretty reasonable to assume that symbol is aligned with the Children of the Forest/ White Walkers/ that ancient time of turmoil.
So why, WHY would the same symbol be inside a cave at the former Targaryen stronghold? Sure, it’s not far-fetched to assume the Children were inhabiting the cave prior to the Targaryen’s arrival… but would it be all that insane to think that the Targaryens and their Valyrian steel manipulating skills be in cohabitation with the Children?
If you find yourself deep in the Thrones Wiki, there are rumours that the Targaryen’s fled Valyria to Dragonstone prior to the arrival of the First Men…could the Targaryens have been living on Dragonstone, and been approached by the First Men (i.e. distant Stark ancestors) and Children (i.e. guys who poached Bran) à la Jon Snow to help fight against the White Walkers? Could it be that the Targaryen bloodline is the key to overthrowing The Others?
We could be reaching from our thrones of peak tinfoil right now but doesn’t the Targaryen sigil look remarkably similar to that eerie symbol?
Call us Cersei but it’s pretty bloody obvious the entire series has been building up to an all out war between the White Walkers and Westerosi, and if we’ve learned anything this season so far, it’s that the showrunners are gunning for a Jon and Dany partnership. It’s a song of ice and fire, for Tyrion’s sake. Having said that, Jon is both a Stark AND a Targaryen… oh god, this is all too much to process.
Were you stunned by this week’s episode, awestruck and punching the air (to yourself) like us? Do you think we’re blowing fire up a dragon’s ass with that crazy conspiracy theory? Leave us a comment below. Now go dust off those Lannister ashes and meet us back here for the next Westerosi Weekly!
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