It’s Christmas, meaning you’ll have to buy gifts for people you have no idea how to shop for, so I thought an easy way around it would be to shop by someone’s horoscope. Sure it doesn’t make sense that every personality type of every person fits the certain constraints of the month they were born in but whatever, it’s the thought that counts right?
Aries
Welcome to the start of the Zodiac, these Rams are typically the most ambitious, once they set their mind on a task, they will complete it, but they can only be satisfied if everything in life falls in line with what they have envisioned. Although they can seem rude at times it’s the bluntness that lets a lot of people trust the Aries with always telling the truth. They’re competitive as sin, so board games are out unless you like having your tables flipped when they land on a hotel’ed Boardwalk.
So, what is the perfect gift for these passionate and independent Rams? How about a Diary and planner, yes they can organise all the projects they want to start to mark days they can fit plebs like you and me into their schedules and really take control of their lives.
Taurus
Up next is Taurus, these bulls are the best friends you could ever ask for. They value honesty so you can always trust when they say or do something, they mean it, everyone probably has a best buddy that’s a Bull. Taurus’ are workaholics, they will get into the nitty-gritty to get the work done to its full potential, but they’ll never complain about it ’cause that’s just another day in the office to them. Taurus’ have a great connection to the earth so they’re all about relaxing, expect them to see them in a field of flowers or sipping on some camomile tea. Though they are quite genuine people, they sometimes can be a tad bit boring not bringing much challenge or discussion to the table.
My best friend is actually a Taurus so this year he will be getting a Spa package, something to relax after working all those long hours this year, he can indulge in the fragrances and loosen up with a professional massage.
Gemini
Forward-thinking and energetic Gemini’s are both sides of the Zodiac coin. Sure, they are the life of the party, they can read the room and vibe with everyone in it, but they have a deep emotional side that needs to be cared for. They are often seen as two-faced but that’s a childish term, to me they’re just constantly figuring themselves out. Emotionally the maturity just isn’t there so they often go back and forth with partners and lovers. They romanticize love, they wish their lives were rom-coms but also aren’t desperate to fall in love and actually enjoy their own company.
I’m gonna say it Geminis need love advice and who better to deliver such a treat then Steve Harvey with his #1 New York Times Bestseller ‘Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man’, eery Gemini will know exactly what to do in the dating world thanks to the gift you delivered them. If not there is always a bottle of wine for the next party you all attend.
Cancer
Cancers are the kings and queens of intuition to the point where it’s almost psychic! Sure, they can be quite standoffish at first but win them over and they’re yours forever, if you like it or not. They prefer small gatherings of trusted friends and hate the small talk of big groups and strangers. Try to trick a Crab? It’s impossible they can smell you BS a mile away they know what you did and they’re coming for you. Cancers are clingy af, they hang onto old flames, and would die for love. They also strive to create, any outlet they can use they will, they also are more inclined to partake in spiritual practices or believe in a higher power. The biggest draw bag is the self-pity and they will let you know about it, best bet stay clear.
If you have a Cancer as a friend you can bet, they have a deep love for you, so my suggestion is to make there year and get them a photo of the two of you, to harken back memories of nostalgia, or if you’re feeling a little crazy get them a best friend forever necklace where each party will eat that shit up.
Leo
I’m gonna be real with everyone out there, I’m a Leo, and like all Lions, I am unabashedly proud of it. Leo’s are known for being the center of attention, and although we revel in it, it’s not always planned. Leo’s are natural-born leaders, with high-self-esteem, who push themselves to be the best at what they do, they want to be number 1, but moreover, they think they are. The worst thing a Leo could be is forgettable, they strive to make an impact but have true intentions in doing so. Leo’s can be show-offs, buying someone the biggest or most expensive gift is not always the key but is ammunition in trying to be the best friend or partner you’ve ever had.
They are true social butterflies they easily make friends and are honest with the time they spend with people; they only hang with people they truly care about although they can cancel plans without regret if they want some alone time. Sure Leos love to talk about themselves but they know that the validity of their accomplishments is the true key to respect and therefore are hard workers.
Obviously, I could talk about Leos all day but you need gift ideas, I get it, well nothing better for the most handsome, funny and fun sign in the zodiac then a mirror. Leos care how they present themselves to the world, so drop a little extra cash on us and get a swanky mirror with lights that will make a Leo glow in the way they think they already do. Alternatively, just ask a Leo what they’d like because they always know what they want.
Virgo
The Perfectionists of the Zodiac, Virgos hold themselves to high standards, and although that might be fine for them, they also can project those standards onto the people they care about. They push to be the better version of themselves, sure they did a great job on that project but it could be better, and they won’t stop until they reach what they perceive as perfection. If a Virgo fails, stay clear because they will bring who or whatever down with the ship. The worst thing you can do to a Virgo is let them down, it doesn’t matter how major or minor the event. Virgos are people pleasers, they’re great to have around because they’ve always got your back, but they will constantly put themselves last, a good Virgo needs to take time for themselves.
Look Virgos want to be the best version of themselves possible, always striving to be perfect. So that’s why the ‘perfect’ gift ( pun, very much intended) would be some motivational posters. When your Virgo friend awakes from slumber they will be greeted with posters like ‘ You miss 100% the shots you don’t take’ or ‘Never Give up’; inspirational.
Libra
Libras are represented by the Scales and I think its quite fitting when you think about the personality traits that they have. Sure Libras are daydreamers, with vast imaginations, leading them to make strides in fields like the arts or literature, and sure they are supportive and strive in big groups of people where their only hope is for everyone to just get along but Libras try a little too hard to me. They are people pleasers yes, but Libra’s listen to me; you don’t have to agree with everything we say. You don’t have to pretend about a topic you know nothing about, don’t pretend to like something I’ve been obsessed with since I was 8, it seems disingenuous.
Libras are deeply attracted to all things intelligence if it’s a person’s intellect or a new exhibition at the local gallery, they thirst for knowledge. Their greatest trait though is being able to see issues from multiple angles, their keen eye to relate with anybody or anyone is so vital in any friend group. Libras are beyond bright and bubbly, they basically fart rainbows, they love the people in there life and see close bonds as family.
If we ever have a third world war it’ll be a Libra who treaties peace, so for this master communicator there is only one gift a ‘New-word-a-day Calendar‘. Its everything a Libra loves, the expansion of knowledge, words to use to communicate with and creativity.
Scorpio
Scorpios are not to be messed with, heed my warning there is no fun in messing with a Scorpio. These arachnids are the most independent of the Astrology wheel creating a name for themselves without inhibition but with fierce passion. Scorpios are blunt and they don’t care, they see only black and white, there is no grey and they will make sure you know without care of what controversy it causes. Scorpios will make you jump hurdles and pass tests as they determine if you are indeed genuine.
Their outer shell makes them seem tough and intimidating, but past that they are generous, kind and want to see the ones around them succeed. They will be your greatest allies or your greatest enemies, which one you fall under is up to them. The greatest fear of a scorpion is emotion, they constantly battle with letting their emotions drive them and try to rationalise situations and people down to ideal logic. It’s okay to cry Scorpios, your emotion can only stay bottled up for so long before you lose it altogether, but trying to tell a Scorpio will more than likely get an ‘ I don’t care response’.
Scorpios love to boast that they have no emotion, and they are not to be trifled with. They love to boast that they have created enemies and will make you one too, so why not support that idea with a custom wine glass that reads ‘Blood of my enemies‘.
Sagittarius
You can’t hold down a Sagittarius they will leave you in the dust, not out of spite or malice but because they are constantly seeking adventure. The nomads of the zodiac, Sagittarius’ are open-hearted, generous and beam positive energy. Their moods are infectious as they are able to work in a team or step-up and show off their natural-born leader qualities. Empathetic and strong-willed a Sagittarius is the keeper of secrets, their trust is infinite. They won’t ever withhold the truth, but this also means they won’t throw a friend under the bus because of their honesty. Although Sagi’s enjoy being in a big group of friends, they really shine when exploring the globe on their own. They really don’t give a shit about the small things in life and are all about living life to the fullest.
Your Sagittarius friends are no doubt never at home and constantly booking their next trip around the world, so here’s my suggestion. They’ve traveled to so many places that even they don’t know where to go next, so hop on amazon and purchase a world map, a set of darts and a blindfold. Oh yeah, hang that map up and let your Sag friend throw that dart at the wall, where it lands is their next destination, truly embodying the archer spirit.
Capricorn
If a Capricorn sets their mind to something, they will achieve it, they know what they want and they won’t budge, which leads them to sometimes have a stubborn streak. These hardworking Goats are all about rules and precision, they don’t like to stray from the beaten path but like to work within constraints and conditions with laser focus. I know I’m a Leo but I’m gonna say it, Capricorns kinda have a large Ego, they think they are the best around, so sophisticated and in touch with culture but most Capricorns overlook their sense-of-self in exchange with amassing achievements and how they appear to the greater public. Although they can be quite narcissistic Capricorns have a devilish sense of humour, being some of the funniest people you can meet.
Capricorns be out here achieving, in any shape way or form, be it work, school or in a relationship and they want to project that to the world, so why not add to that? Print off some fake awards and get them framed, these could range from ‘best friend award’ to something a little more testy like ‘Award for the person who won’t back down from a fight even though they’re wrong’, maybe just don’t go to hard cause goats like to hold grudges.
Aquarius
It is hard to talk about Aquarius because they are so unique and different person to person. What they do share is that they look at life and situations with greater gravitas, looking through a lens that affects more than just themselves. Synonymous with revolution Aquarius’s are about change and justice, they seek paradise. Although they want justice and peace, they love to manipulate and control situations, they will tell you “I’m your best friend I know you better than you know yourself “just so they can have that control. Don’t get me wrong sure they are manipulative but Aquarius’ are incredibly open-minded and are always there to listen.
I’m sure your Aquarius friends are telling you all about the latest rally they attended so why not get them something they can use? How about a bunch of pickets. You can craft these at home and the decoration is up to them, its the perfect gift for a fighter of freedoms!
Pisces
The final sign of the Zodiac Pisces can be quite complex as they are the amalgamation of nearly every sign. They will follow their gut above all, if they have a bad feeling about something they will stay away. In saying that they don’t ignore their own intelligence and are logical thinkers especially when it comes to exploring the arts. Which strangely can go hand-in-hand with their imaginative minds as they often will be daydreaming or in worse cases overthinking a situation.
Though they spend a lot of time in their own heads it is crucial to these fish as it is all a part of the creative process. Pisces feel they have two sides to themselves internal and external. The way they present themselves, and the way they feel, which can lead them to step away and readjust the two. Pisces are great listeners and advice-givers and strive to have conversations that are more than just surface level, they will be the first to be heard in a room and start a ‘real’ conversation. Though they may be great at listening, Pisces will never ask for help, especially emotionally, assuming no one knows how they feel or how to handle their situation.
Pisces are a little of everything they should be easy to shop for but, no. They are so diverse, they are book-smart but creative, love being the center of a conversation but only like to hang in small groups. Pisces are incredible listeners and advice-givers so to me it sounds as if they are therapists, the perfect gift would be a chaise lounge, one of those lounges you lay on at therapy. Now they have all the skills and equipment to get the job done.
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